A Learning Curve
Recently, on the chat room, we were discussing the possibility or, more likely, the probability that people with some sort of disorder of sex development (DSD) develop a caring attitude to the plight of others who are disadvantaged in some way. As if we are on the same road through life and can feel empathy for others with a similar problem.
I once heard someone say that there is a sort of hierarchy in the world of DSD (sorry, but it helps having a generic term) and that some people with a more severe form of hypospadias, epispadias, or bladder exstrophy tend to feel that those with a “minor” problem are not really suffering much. I do hope that that statement does not make any of our readers bristle; I merely reflect that if it is so, then we are bound to try to get around that sort of thinking.
Some of our younger members set an example and show tremendous fortitude with their problems, with many surgical procedures in their past, yet they still live each day with a smile despite their continuing special needs. I think the mental attitude helps if it can be positively developed from an early age. This, in my opinion, is where the parents’ input is very important.
I don’t wish to finish with a negative comment, and this is where we are all on a learning curve: there are those who have not been so lucky, despite having a relatively easier time in hospital, perhaps with a “minor” procedure(s), but who still are having a hard time adjusting, forming relationships, finding a life partner, etc. Some were actually called hurtful names by those close to them when they were children; perhaps their mental makeup is fundamentally different from those in the previous paragraph or they were not encouraged when they were young. Whatever the reason, I believe we should be on guard in our support work when interacting with others and continue to be alert to absolutely everyone and their individual needs.